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I don’t feel like having sex with my husband

September 5, 2024 Reviewed by Dr Hameed Ibrahim Khokar

Originally posted 2023-08-07 06:55:56.

Query

I’m getting close to menopause, and my sexual drive is going down very fast. I don’t talk about sex with my husband because he brings it up too often. We had a big fight once, and he yelled that our relationship is empty now that it’s all about the kids and work. I yelled back that he could go outside and look for “happiness”. A few weeks later, I read his chats and saw that he was sending sexts to other women. I felt betrayed, and we got into a big fight. I don’t think I can ever trust him again.

Khokar’s Answer

Hello, and thanks for writing. It’s easy to see why this situation might be shocking to you.

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From what he did, it’s clear that you feel hurt and betrayed. Cheating is always wrong. Also, it’s important to remember that cheating doesn’t always mean the end of a relationship. As a woman goes through menopause, her sexual drive often goes down, which can be hard and confusing for her partner. There could be a lot of reasons why your husband has been sending sexts to other women, so don’t jump to the worst conclusion.

Have you been giving your relationship the time it needs? Have you told your husband what’s going on with you during menopause? Have you also thought about what he needs?

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It’s possible that your husband feels like he’s not getting enough attention and is looking for it elsewhere. He could also just feel emotionally and physically disconnected from you. In this situation, there may be other things going on as well. It’s also possible that he’s just looking for more people to hang out with and has no plans to have sexual relations with these other women.

Even though it’s not fair on his part, you should try to stay calm and talk to your husband about it. He might be able to explain or defend his actions, so it’s important to listen to what he has to say. If he’s willing to talk about it honestly and openly, there might still be hope for your relationship.

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If you can’t talk to your husband about these problems in an open and honest way, they’re likely to keep getting worse and cause more problems in the future. You might be able to save your relationship in the long run if you can work on rebuilding trust.

Above all, talk to each other about what you’re both going through and find ways to keep your relationship close. Arguing and making accusations will hurt the relationship even more, so it’s important to try to work out problems through honest communication and kindness. You won’t get anywhere if you try to solve this problem in the middle of a fight. Try taking a break to really think about how you want to move forward. Then, talk about the problem in a calm and understanding way. Also, be clear about how you feel and what you want.

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Lastly, I would recommend that if you or your husband are unable to process the thoughts, emotions, and uneasiness around the situation, consider seeking therapy. Don’t shy away from asking for help. I hope this helps!

For further queries, feel free to book an appointment with us.

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